Hats. Have you ever realized how a hat makes you what you are? How it changes your whole look and personality? You might look at someone at the table with an animal hat on and think, "Wow, what a jerk!" Or maybe he's wearing a hat to hide his eyes, hide his tells, hide his thoughts. There are mad hatter hats, derbies, baseball caps with every logo imaginable, fedoras, beanies, berets, bandanas, and bowlers, but there is only one bad hat!

Last time we explored all profitable hands containing trips and two pair. It is only fitting that we begin today with pairs. The chart on the right lists all profitable one-pair starting hands.

Although every pair is represented on the chart, the number of profitable hands vary by rank.

The number of profitable hands also varies according to how hands are suited, with far more profitable starting hands whenever a hand is double-suited. The numbers fall off dramatically when a hand is unsuited.

It is time to start planning your poker trips for the New Year. A great poker trip and one near and dear to my heart, is the Eureka Open, held January 4-11, 2009. The series of low-limit tournaments is held at the Eureka Casino Hotel (www.eurekamesquite.com), located an easy hour drive north of downtown Las Vegas (exit 122 on the 15).

The greatest complaint I hear at the limit tables these days is when someone gets rivered after making a bet on the turn and then says, "That's the problem with limit hold 'em; you can't protect your hand like you can in no-limit."

OK... that is a difference between the two, but then why are you playing limit? There are lots of differences between the two formats because they are two different games! One day I'd love to hear a no-limit player say, "That's the problem with no-limit, you can lose your whole stack in one hand." That would make me chuckle.

In a recent column, I told you about Poker Player Newspaper reader Allison "Wonderland" Johnson's lucky seat theory. She believes there is one seat at the table that is fortunate to be blessed with winning hands much more than its fair share of the time.

"The biggest leak a limit hold 'em player has," I told Fred, "is chasing when her money odds are less than her card odds. That may cost players more than even inferior starting hands. The table below shows when you should-and shouldn't-chase, when drawing to less than the nuts."

"These conditions apply: a) you must be drawing to the 3/4-nuts; b) the pot's dead money must cover the rake, bad-beat drop, and the dealer's toke-to-be; c) the betting structure must be B-B-2B-2B.

I've been playing poker competitively for ten years, and I've seen mistakes big and small. Everyone makes mistakes. I've seen them made by amateurs and professionals alike. The difference is that professionals tend to make fewer and they usually don't cost as much.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown. -William Shakespeare, Henry IV

[This is a work of poker fiction set ten thousand hands in the future. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is coincidental.]

In the nineteenth century Horatio Alger's rags-to-riches books, From Farm to Fortune and Up the Ladder of Success, told of poverty stricken boys who became rich and successful through hard work and determination.

Las Vegas versions of Alger's stories included legendary casino entrepreneurs-Sam Boyd's Fremont, Benny Binion's Horseshoe, and Edwin O'Connor's Kingdom.

Here are a few tidbits of knowledge I have acquired from MCU over the past five years.

Outfits. Can you recognize conservative or loose players by the way they dress? Yes, quite often you can. Conservative players attire themselves in conformist ways. Although there are some exceptions, you won't usually see them making glaring fashion statements.

I visited Foxwoods over the Thanksgiving weekend with my buddies Jim and Andre and spent much of my time playing $20-$40 limit stud. But after a while I realized that I was up against a table of very good stud players who were unlikely to be replaced by mediocre or poor players. So I dropped down a level to $10-$20.