"Yeah, well ... sometimes nothin’ can be a real cool hand.” -Paul Newman in the film classic, “Cool Hand Luke”
 

by Roger Rodd
 
“Ya big galoot! Ya gummed the works!” —Spoken by an angry mobster to a flunky mobster in an episode of “The Three Stooges.”

 The recent WSOP final table drew my distracted attention as I conducted the Graduate Tournament for the CCUP, aka The Commerce Casino University Of Poker. Small crowds gathered by the overhead HDTVs, as it was airing on seemingly every flat screen in the Commerce.

 By Sean Chaffin

Cassius Marcellus Coolidge’s mark on poker stands the test of time.  His “Dogs Playing Poker” works have been the inspiration for coffee mugs, posters, neckties, movies, video games, websites, and much more. His paintings have sold for hundreds of thousands of dollars and their place has been secured in popular American lore.

While Coolidge remains an obscurity in the art world, his works are some of the most well-known pieces of Americana.

by Roger Rodd
“Never before in the field of poker conflict, has so much been written, by so many, for so few who are capable of discerning its value.”  —Roger Rodd paraphrasing a near plagiarism of Winston Churchill

 Conventional thinking is synonymous with conformity, and that trait spells failure at virtually all but militaristic endeavors. Ironically, it’s rampant in two of America’s most passionate arenas, football and poker. Those who deign to defy the misnomer called conventional wisdom are most frequently hailed as champions.

Dear Ace,
My New Year’s resolution was to lose 15 pounds, but I’ve put on 10 since the year started—how can I trim down quick?—Double-Doubling Down
 
Dear Double,

Dear Ace,
I've been gambling online for a while now and I consider myself somewhat of an expert. I've made some good money on a few sites, but I feel weird going into a Casino and doing it in person. Can you help me get my poker face together?-Not Ready to Go Public

Dear Not Ready,

Dear Ace, I'm sick and tired of my fiancé's obsession with gambling. He's had weekly poker nights every Thursday for years now, and he's always trying to plan our vacations for casinos when I'd rather he take me somewhere romantic. How can I get him to be the man I want him to be?-Wistful in West Hills

Poker is a mean game. It's agony and ecstasy, frustration and fulfillment, delight and despair. Consequently, we find Poker websites devoted to news, views, how-to's, who's who's, and what-todo's.

But what's funny about Poker? A lot. If you're not getting laughs out of your game, there's a special website for you: Hold'em Humor. It's a flop house for poker jokers.

"I was playing poker with tarot cards the other night. I got a full-house and four people died" is typical of the one-liners posted on the website.

Can I make a rule? It's a simple one: if you don't know anything about poker, don't write an alleged humor piece about it. Really, what the hell is "He was short-stacked, so I raised with nothing but a bumpy melinda and a bullet" supposed to mean?

You know who's a genius?

A genius is the guy who figured out that the chocolate shell lining the sugar cone on "Drumsticks" is not only tasty, but helps the ice cream from melting all over your fingers. A genius is a guy who dresses up in a shockingly green jacket with question marks embroidered all over it, screams into the television camera, and somehow sells enough books to make a second commercial.

Genius comes in all sizes, shapes, and colors.