In poker, as in life, winning is based more on attitude that aptitude. Sure, knowing what to play and when to lay down poor chances is part of aptitude. However, players with the right attitude will more often have such aptitudes. Good poker players seem to have an attitude of gratitude; they know how rare good hands are and are grateful when the random deal comes their way. They also know how to play bad deals. On the other hand, poor players tend to be whiners and expect good hands every time.

Patrick O'Dooley is a motivational speaker and addresses hundreds of audiences a year. Usually he asks the audience to tell him which words they would choose to describe "a winner." These are the qualities he found most often, ranked in the order of their occurrence:

1. Positive attitude
2. Enthusiasm
3. Determined
4. Motivated
5. Confident
6. Optimistic
7. Dedicated
8. Happy
9. Good Listener
10. Patient

On a good day, most players will have most of these qualities and they will do better on those days. However, when compared to losing qualities, look for different attitudes to appear. In place of positive attitudes you can find more defeatist attitudes.

The good news is that losing qualities can be changed to winning ones. Witness the change in Mike "the Mouth" Matusow. In my book (Beyond Traps) published in August 2007, I was discussing traits of consistent winners. One of these traits was permission to win and at that time Mike Matusow was not playing his best game. He appeared to have a negative attitude and it seemed his only goal was to put people on tilt. Today you will find a different Mike. His mouth is less critical and he promotes a positive attitude. He seems to win much more too. Congratulations Mike! Qualities can change.

Instead of a positive attitude, losers have more of a defeatist attitude. Winners come with enthusiasm; losers expect the worst. While winners are determined, losers develop the skill to notice what is wrong. Losers will lack a positive approach while winners seem motivated and goal directed. This gives winners confidence while losers are bent on uncertainty. So, you too could go down the list of winners' qualities and know what needs to be changed if you are losing.

Poker attitudes are more based in reality for some and wishful thinking for others. The attitude of gratitude appreciates the random shuffle while the day-dreaming player thinks every hand should be a good one. Poker winners have mastered the odds for their actions. Although motivated, winners realize that their motives must be mixed-sometimes the pot odds are important and other times implied odds are more important. That's because good players know how to read other players and determine when to play streaks and when to lay-down a drawing hand.

You will occasionally find successful players who don't seem to have any of the qualities of a winner, except for the first three: positive attitude, enthusiasm, and the fact that they are determined. However, the first is there for some only if they win. Otherwise they are impulsive, can't stand being defeated, and will spend their time openly criticizing the actions of players who beat them.

So, who's the winner in such examples? Is it the one who is enthusiastic and determined to make the winning player feel ashamed of beating him? Or is it the player who wins the pot and controls his temper? Again, it is more the attitude than the aptitude. Players with great skill (aptitude) may come with the worst attitude towards themselves and others. In the long run, attitude prevails over aptitude.

What about those players who are there to relax and have a good time? If they are succeeding, call them winners!

Jim McKenna has been practicing psychotherapy for more than thirty-five years. His books include the acclaimed Beyond Tells: Power Poker Psychology, Beyond Bluffs: Master the Mysteries of Poker, and Beyond Traps: The Anatomy of Poker Success, all published by Kensington Press. Write to Jim@Jimmckenna-PhD.com.