I was all fired up, couldn’t hardly wait for Hobby’s cruise to the French Riviera to get underway. I brought my two suitcases aboard and checked in with the Captain. “Hobby, I’ve stowed my gear. I know we don’t sail ‘til tomorrow, but what else can I do before we launch?”
 
“Joe, I’ve been making preparations for so long there’s not a darned thing I can think of, but tell you what … why don’t you go down to the crew’s quarters and ask Mike if there’s anything we need.
 
Mike wasn’t there, but I saw Pedro hunched over a lap top computer. “What’s up, Pedro?”
 
“Hi, Joe, I’m just killing time waiting for Mike… playing a little hold’em.”
 
“How’re you doing?
 
“Not bad, but I’m getting pissed at the Chinese.”
 
“Chinese players?”
 
“Yeah, I guess they’ve discovered on-line poker, but the way they do it… well, it’s crazy.” I looked over Pablo shoulder; he was playing at a 25-50¢ table. “See this player,” he said as he moved the cursor, “and this player too, you can tell by the names they’re Chinese. And if you’re not convinced you can see where they come from, look here, I can’t pronounce the names but they look like China.”
 
“Okay, you’ve got a couple Chinese players, but so what?”
 
“They don’t play unless they go all-in and often it happens when I’ve got a pretty good hand, but I’ve learned when to fold because they always have a good pair or an ace with a big kicker. “
 
“Pablo. If they consistently play like that, they’re giving up a lot of information. I think in the long run, with your understanding of what’s going on, you’ll eventually beat them. But, there’s lots of other tables you can play on, aren’t there?”
 
“Sure, Joe, but check this out.” He went to the site’s Lobby and clicked onto other open tables. “See, almost every table has one or two Chinese.”
 
“That’s amazing. Let’s look at the higher stakes games.” As the blinds went into the $5 range, we didn’t find the Chinese players.
 
“Maybe too rich for them?”
 
“Maybe, but I think at the higher stakes games there are more skillful players that would use their tactic against them.”
 
When I went back to the salon where Hobby had set up four laptops for his guests’ use, I logged on to the poker site I use and checked out the lower stakes games. I found the same concentration of Chinese players, but here they were also playing in some of the higher stakes games too.
 
When Hobby came into the salon I said, “Hey, Pablo just told me about the Chinese tactic that’s hitting the on-line hold’em poker sites.” Hobby looked nonplussed, so I went on, “There are apparently thousands of Chinese, from all over China, now playing and using the same tactic of going all-in before the flop when they have good cards like pairs or aces with high kickers.” Hobby still had a blank stare on his face so I said, “Don’t you find it interesting? Doesn’t it make you wonder if there’s some conspiracy afoot for the Chinese to take over the world of poker?”
 
“I don’t think it’s a big deal. There are many Asian poker pros. When we were in Macao a couple years ago we saw hundreds in the casinos playing poker, although more were playing their favorite game of pai gow.”
 
“Sure, there are many Chinese or Asian poker players, but this situation, playing hold’em on-line with the same tactic, looks like a new phenomenon to me.”
 
“It’s not really new, Joe, although it may be only recently it has become widespread.”
 
“You sound like you know something.”
 
“I read about a Chinese mathematical genius who has a sure-fire way to win at hold’em.”
 
“Well, that’s very interesting… and Hobby reading, wow!”
 
“Joe, I’ve got more depth than you ever imagined…”
 
Before he could say more Mike came in and said, “Hobby, I need you to look at something in the engine hold. It could be serious.”
 
“Don’t tell me it’s something that could screw up our schedule.”
 
“That’s for you to decide, Captain Hobby,” Mike replied.
 
“Joe, come along. I may need your advice.” Hobby was dead serious… very concerned. I was too; I’d hate to have something go wrong the day before our departure.
 
Mike led us into the bowels of the yacht where the big diesel engines were housed. “It’s in the back of engine two,” he said with a gloomy look on his face.
 
“Joe, if we don’t have two good engines, there’s no way we can go, and it could take weeks to do an overhaul.”
 
When we turned the corner to view the back of the engine we were all looking up at the gleaming metal machine and almost missed the basket on the floor. “What the hell is this,” Hobby shouted, looking down.
 
“Quiet, Captain,” Mike said, “You might wake up the babies.”
 
“Babies?”
 
“Well, I guess I should say kittens. Our pet feline, Hold’em, somehow got pregnant and now has four little ones to feed. You said we couldn’t take on any more passengers, so I didn’t know what to do.”
 
In the padded oval basket Hobby’s calico cat was reclining with four little sucklings: two calicos, one black, and one an orange color, all attached to her belly. With cloudy eyes, Hobby said, “Wow, this is fantastic. I’m sure we can make room for them.” Then he turned sober and said, “Mike, you bastard, you really had me going. You better watch your back.”
 
We all laughed and Mike said, “So what are you going to name them?”
 
He pondered a while then said, “The calicos will be after our ladies, Sue & Kim. The black one will be Joe, and the orange will be Ming in honor of the Chinese conspiracy Joe is so concerned
about.”
 
Write to author David Valley at: dvalley1@san.rr.com