There are days when all of us need a laugh. We're working hard, trying to make it through to the end of the day, and it's just one fire after another. That's what early April is like for a tax accountant.
Luckily for me my good friend Aaron was able to relay one of Mrs. Goldman's latest adventures. Mrs. Goldman doesn't need any rhyme or reason for her actions. And this one was a doozy.
Aaron was third to act in a ten-handed $2-$5 blinds, $200 to $500 buy-in, no-limit hold 'em game. He looked down at 7s-6s and raised to $25. Mrs. Goldman, in the cutoff, and Scott, the big blind, both called Aaron's raise.
The flop came 10d-Jd-3c, missing Aaron completely. Scott bet $50, Aaron quietly folded, and Mrs. Goldman moved all-in for another $200. Scott called with Kd-Qd. Just under 75 percent of the time Scott will take Mrs. Goldman's money. But when the board came 7h-6h, Mrs. Goldman proudly revealed her 2s-2f and took down the $575 pot.
On the very next hand Mrs. Goldman raised to $25, with Scott calling from the small blind and Ed calling from the big blind. The flop was 7c-6c-4c. When Scott and Ed checked, Mrs. Goldman bet $25. Scott called and Ed folded. The turn was the 3f. Scott now bet $100, and Mrs. Goldman went into the tank.
As Aaron relayed it to me, she looked at her hand, and then the board, and then at her hand and back to the board, repeating this for about a minute. She then called, and it was obvious to Aaron that she thought she was on a draw. Whether she actually was or not, well, you'd have to look at her cards and the board to find that out.
The river was the 5c putting a straight flush onto the board. Scott checked, and Mrs. Goldman again repeated the actions of looking at her hand and then the board. After a few moments it was like a light bulb went off, and she figured out what she had. She moved all-in, and Scott was beside himself.
"I can't believe this," he said to no one in particular. He held his cards out so that everyone at the table could see them-he had Ac-10c for the flopped nuts. "I can't believe this," he continued. "Could she really hold the eight of clubs?"
He thought and thought and then thought some more. After nearly two minutes had gone by Scott angrily threw his cards face-up into the muck. Mrs. Goldman then turned over her winning hand. Yes, she had made the straight flush on the river. She had again been dealt 2s-2c. Of course, her 2c didn't play, but it was clear at the time that Mrs. Goldman hadn't realized this.
Indeed, it was Scott who became the life of the game. He went on one of the worst episodes of tilt that Aaron had seen in some time. Scott dropped four more buy-ins before he left the table, and some of that found its way to Aaron.
As for Mrs. Goldman, she never realized that her deuce of clubs didn't play on that hand. Aaron learned long ago that it's a waste of time to try to point things like this out to her. She was happy with her win, and for her a win is quite rare. Why spoil her day?
As for Scott, he should realize that you shouldn't put a player like Mrs. Goldman on a specific card. For her, it's there but for the grace of God go thee.
Russell Fox is the co-author of "Mastering No-Limit Hold'em," "Why You Lose at Poker," and "Winning Strategies for No-Limit Hold'em." He's a federally licensed tax preparer specializing in gambling, with a blog at taxabletalk.com. E-mail Russ at rcfox@claytontax.com
