There are certain things that happen to me if I decide to play poker after a situation has arisen. The frame of mind that I need to be in to engage the game at full strength is somehow diluted before I ever sit down. Yes, negative energy seeps into the crevices of my normally free-flowing blood stream and eventually invades my psyche. Even though every fiber in my body is screaming "no," "deal me in" is the way I will usually go. Knowing that I need to focus more than ever, my mind starts to drift about things that I hate at the table.

Why is it that no matter how good-looking the woman is at the table, the guy in the seat next to me is leaning almost in my lap, tilted away from the lady. This particular behavior is a hard one for me to figure out, and it usually takes me up to 30-40 hands to let it go. When I am really off my game, there is no trick that I will not try to correct this mistake. If the culprit decides to get up for any reason, I am usually going to move his chair away from me closer to the woman. Lo and behold, when the offender returns he is able to sniff out the change and immediately returns the chair into my lap! Even when I take the first table change - when the stars are aligned, the stars are aligned - some other guy will take up the challenge of making me commit all of my energies to this - yeah, these things consume me. Not only that, but what is this insensitive thing that some players do without shame that is offensive and rude? Well, I don't know about you but, when someone is continually coughing all over the table without regard to the players east or west of them, not covering their mouths, I even forget about the guy sitting in my lap. My total attention is now focused on how many times is this guy going to cough on me without an "excuse me." At this point if I am still under the illusion that I can co-exist with all these distractions, I will make a concerted effort not to say anything, but my unkind glare in their direction trumpets the point. At this point, I have to tell you a story.

All these things were in effect in this particular game, and I was more than beginning to get really agitated at the guy sitting beside me. He was just coughing and coughing to the point where I began to unconsciously count how many times, and for how long. Then suddenly, he won a pot and noticed that I was nearly cowering away from his hacking coughs. Well, the more he coughed, the more pots he won, and he certainly made the correlation between the two. He was really letting me have it. When... let us just say his enjoyment came to an abrupt ending with this interjection, "You stupid @###$%$tch, will you cover your $$#%@#$ mouth?" Needless to say, he was startled that I had reacted that way, but he deserved it. That speaks to how many poker players believe that some good luck charm or other ritual is guiding their paths. However, to rely on coughing on another player to bring you luck is downright sick!

Donald W. Woods, Jr. is a 9 year professional dealer. Some of his diversified interests include, track and field coach at the high school level yielding a championship in 2002. He is currently penning an original script, outside the poker arena, for his maiden voyage to movie-land.