We poker players can usually think of many reasons for performing poorly. I find it instructive to look at many of these excuses for losing, and understand the sometimes humorous, if tortured logic, that justifies them. Even if this list doesn't help with your game-although it should-it will help you explain away your losses to people who have no business knowing about them anyway.
It was late. This underscores what a solid, hardcore player you are. It's usually used in the context of those marathon sessions that you're man enough to play-as in, "I was playing poker for 60 hours straight and was actually getting back to even after having dropped a ton during the first 24 hours." No poker slouch you are-willing to continue to pile on the hours of losing poker play even after your ability to see, let alone make good decisions, has long since evaporated.
I was way down. This demonstrates that you are self aware enough to at least recognize where you are at all times. It shows your human side and that you are capable of suffering the vagaries of chance and losing from time to time. It also shows that you don't value money nearly as much as lesser players. Once you're down a lot what does it really matter if you're down a whole lot more.
I was way up. This is a good excuse because it demonstrates that you know the difference between winning and losing. It also shows others that you have the ability to be up-since you were up before you were down. It connotes a sort of cavalier attitude toward winning, that although you were good enough to get up, you just didn't feel like staying up. Of course it may prompt some to ask why you can't keep it up. But that's a column for another magazine.
It was a great game. This highlights your keen ability to tell the difference between a good and a bad game. To hell with all of the annoying questions about why you were doing so poorly in it. With this excuse you show that you're good enough to discount your short term bottom line while looking at the bigger picture. What really matters, after all, the objective fact that you have lost $2,500 or your subjective analysis of game conditions being ideal for a big winning session?
It was an awful game. You demonstrate your firm embrace of the advanced notion that bad games become good games and vice versa. You are showing a true faith in your own skills to withstand this irksome period of the game when it is awful, knowing that eventually-you're hoping it's before you blow all of your bankroll-the game will turn around. And there you'll be, expert poker strategist that you are, perfectly situated to take full advantage of it. Why run the risk of sitting out the game while it is bad? You want a front row seat to the change-when it eventually happens-you hope.
I was bored. Superior players can't play their best game all the time against morons. You demonstrate your true superiority by honestly explaining the obvious-that you were just too good for these cretins. Sure, they've managed to take your money during your temporary lull in attention. But, skillful poker master that you are, when and if you decide to lower yourself to actually paying attention and engaging in this game of inferiors, you'll surely reverse your losses.
I was drinking. This is a great all purpose excuse in that it both implies that you would have been winning had you not been drinking and that you know enough to know that drinking and poker don't generally mix. Of course it does raise the nettlesome follow up question of why you were drinking and playing in the first place.
I was actually winning. When all else fails, just deny the pathetic truth. After all, who's going to know your true bottom line if you don't?
Ashley Adams is the author of Winning 7-Card Stud and Winning No Limit Low Limit Hold'em. He hosts the radio show House of Cards, broadcast Mondays at 5 - 6 p.m. in Boston, MA, on 1510 AM, and on the Internet at www.houseofcardsradio.com. Contact Ashley at asha34@aol.com.
