Hobby said on my voicemail was, "Come to Lazybuns about two o'clock. There's someone I want you to meet." When I walked into the salon I was surprised to see a well-dressed woman, maybe in her mid-thirties. She looked like she had come for afternoon tea.
"Joe, meet Aubrey Ames. She's chairlady of the West Los Angeles Republican Women's Club. She wants us to organize a poker party fund raiser." Oh crap, I thought. "I said we would." Oh double-crap, I'll kill him. "It's six weeks off; it'll be at the Beverly-Hilton."
Since I was committed by my buddy, though I loathed the involvement, I had to make the best of it. "How many players do you expect?"
"We plan to sell 200 tickets at $500 each. That's for a couple and if the lady wants to play it's another $100. We want to have a separate tournament for the ladies."
"That's interesting-a separate tournament for the ladies-why?"
"We like to chit-chat when we play, but the men would rather concentrate on the game. Don't you agree?"
"Good thinking," Hobby said. "About how many ladies do you think will play?"
"Maybe forty or fifty," she said.
"And what will the other ladies be doing?"
"We'll have entertainment and a fashion show, but you don't have to worry about that, or about the dinner which will be served first. We just need your help to organize the poker."
"What's the payout for the winning players?" Hobby asked.
"We'll have some wonderful prizes for the top five winners in each tournament. I have two ladies on my committee selecting them."
I asked, "Do you realize it'll be expensive, hiring dealers and equipment?"
"Yes. I have our organization's check for $10,000 with the payee blank, you can use it as a deposit. But please hang onto it until we get some money in our coffers from ticket sales."
"We can do that," Hobby agreed.
After she left I said, "Hobby, I could kick your ass for getting me into this."
"C'mon, Joe, it's no big deal. I'll carry the ball; you just help me work out the details."
I had some misgivings, but had no choice. "With 250 players they'll need about 30 tables and 30 dealers. It will take a lot of space, probably 3-4,000 square feet. Do you think they know what they're getting into?"
"I hope so. I'll call Aubrey and discuss it some more."
"You do that. Meanwhile, I'll check with a gaming rental service to see if they can handle the job and find out what it will cost."
Over the next few days I made arrangements for the dealers and equipment while Hobby coordinated other matters with Aubrey. I called him to discuss something that had been bothering me. "Hobby, have you given any thought to how we'll actually run two tournaments?
"I thought you and I could handle it."
"I think we should hire a professional tournament director. We can help out, but I don't want to have the responsibility for running the whole show."
"I guess if it didn't cost too much, the ladies wouldn't object, but we agreed to organize the poker."
"If I remember correctly, you agreed to do it, Hobby. I'm just your helper. I'll see who we can get for a TD."
I was out of town for a few days and hadn't called Hobby to inquire about the fund raiser. When I returned, I called, but he didn't answer his phone. There was something nagging at my mind about this loopy affair, but since I'd been involved in a complicated writing assignment, I hadn't given it much thought. It was time for a little research.
"Jim, this is Joe Crest. I know you're a big mucky-muck in the Republican Party, could I ask you a question about the West Los Angeles Republican Women's Club."
"Hi, Joe. I have no idea what you're talking about. There's a Los Angeles Republican Women's Club, but that's it. I know because my wife is the current president."
After that bombshell dropped, I called the Beverly-Hilton Hotel. Surprise, surprise, they had no booking scheduled for the event we had had been suckered into. So what the hell was it all about? I thought of the check I was holding for the dealers and equipment. I immediately examined it. It looked official. It was written on the Westwood branch of the Bank of America, but when I called I was informed they had no such account.
It had to be some kind of scam, but I couldn't get a handle on it. Aubrey could be selling bogus tickets to unsuspecting Republicans, but I couldn't imagine she could get far with that. She could easily be found out by people in the political scene. It had to be a scam aimed at Hobby, a known philanthropist who, like me, wasn't politically astute. I called his phone again but he wasn't answering. I went to his abode, Lazybuns, but he wasn't aboard. I'd just have to wait for him.
It was three o'clock when he returned. I wasted no time telling him what I had learned. He was dumbfounded. "Joe, I just gave her a check for $60,000 to pay the Beverly-Hilton because their club's treasurer is out of town. She said they had to give the money to the hotel today or lose their booking."
"How did you make out the check?"
"To her." He suddenly realized he'd been had. "I've got to call my bank."
A minute later and she might have gotten away with Hobby's money. She was caught at the teller's window by bank security and held for the police.
"Joe, it pisses me off to think someone would use the respectable game of poker to rip me off."
"Hobby, it has nothing to do with poker, it's a sleazebag trying to take advantage of your kindness and money. Unfortunately, the world's full of them."
Write to author David Valley at: dvalley1@san.rr.com
