Hobby and I were on a "Mexican Riviera" cruise with our girl friends. We hadn't reached our first stop at Mazatlan and we were already in trouble. They were complaining about us playing too much poker.
Kim said, "If this is the way it's going to be, I'm flying back home."
"And I'm going with her," Sue added.
"What's the problem? Aren't you girls enjoying yourselves?" I asked innocently.
"Don't give me that baloney, Joe Crest. You're always playing poker!" added my dear Kim.
"Well, you can play too," I suggested.
"What fun is that? We want to do things together, just the four of us."
"Good," Hobby offered, "let's play poker!"
"Maybe," Sue said, "if we can play partners, like bridge."
"I hate bridge," Hobby replied, "but we can play partners in poker. Can't we, Joe?" He asked with a 100-yard stare that said, you better come up with something.
"Yeah, sure. Just excuse me a few minutes while I visit the head."
I had to invent something, and quickly. Ah hell, I decided, I'll just wing it. Back in the Club Room I said, "Here's how it goes. Basically it's Texas Hold 'Em. The deal rotates, but no blinds. We'll ante 25 cents. It'll be 25/50 cent game, three raises max. Is that okay with everyone?"
"So far, but how does the partner bit work?" Hobby asked.
"I'm coming to that," I said as I glared at him. I still didn't have a good idea. "Let's order some drinks first and then I'll explain it."
After that strategic delay I said, "I'm dealing the typical two down cards to everyone. You can keep them, or mix and match them with your partner's to make the strongest hands. After the exchange, we do the flop and play regular hold 'em. Any questions?"
"I've got one," Sue said.
"After we swap, can we both play?"
"If you both want to bet to see the flop, you can. Then, just play as usual. As play progresses, if only you and your partner are left in the betting, the hand is over. You can also share chips and pass them back and forth anytime."
I didn't think much of my innovation, but it turned out to be more fun than I could imagine. We played for three hours before we stopped for dinner.
With the help of a few margaritas (which were soso compared to Hobby's) everyone was once again in a great mood. We ate heartily, danced a lot, and needless to say did some more drinking. Hobby introduced me to "progressive margaritas." You get a glass of tequila, one of lime juice, and one of Cointreau. With a lick of salt off the back of your hand you take a slug of each. Maybe it was because I was mellow before I started, but I really enjoyed it.
"Great drink, Hobby. It's like making your own margaritas!"
Afterwards, we were lounging around in the Club Room when an attractive Mexican couple approached me. "I saw you and your friends were having a lot of fun this afternoon.
It looked like you were playing Texas Hold 'Em, but not like I'd ever seen it before."
After a round of introductions, I said, "We were playing hold 'em for partners. Would you like me to show you how it works?"
"Yes, I am very interested."
"Joe, why don't you and Kim play? Sue and I are going to turn in," Hobby said.
So it was that we became very friendly with Emilio and Clarissa.
They invited the four of us to visit them at their Hacienda when we stopped in Mazatlan.
As we were walking down the gangplank I pointed and said, "Look over there. That's Emilio standing next to that limo waving at us."
"Maybe he's the chauffer?" Hobby wisecracked. "No way. He's in big bucks. We're going to his hacienda, for chrissakes," I replied.
It was a half-hour drive outside of Mazatlan.
During the ride Emilio told us he raised Black Angus beef at his cattle ranch for the restaurant trade. The hacienda was a huge adobe brick sprawling ranch style home. The elegant interior was like a western movie fan's museum, evidently Emilio's hobby. He had autographed pictures of old time cowboy stars and all sorts of movie props and memorabilia. After the grand tour he said, "Now, are you ready for dinner?"
Seated in a large dining room in over-sized oak and leather chairs, we enjoyed a multi-course meal with the most delicious and tender filet-mignon I've ever tasted. "The secret to the flavor is the aging, which we do here for the better restaurants," Emilio commented.
Suddenly the doors to the patio were opened. Two Mexicans with handguns shouting in Spanish burst into the room. Emilio shouted back, but it was obvious he was frightened.
"These pigs have come to rob us. Please stay calm. I don't want anyone to be hurt," he said.
As one of the gun men moved closer to the table, the service door swung open. This man held a shot gun. I thought we were in worse trouble, but the new intruder said something in Spanish and pointed his shotgun at one of the bandits. Then there was silence, no one spoke or moved for the longest time.
Hobby had moved his chair back a bit from the table when the intruders first showed. He was only a few feet from one of the gunmen. To distract them I said, "Excuse me. May I take a drink of water?" and reached for my glass. That was all Hobby needed.
He jumped and quickly disarmed the man near him. When he pointed the weapon at the lone bandit he said, "Two against one, now. You better drop it."
I don't know if the Mexican understood, but he dropped his weapon. It wasn't long before the Federales were on the scene fawning over the opportunity to be of service to our host.
As the chauffer drove us back to the ship the girls were giddy over the excitement and Kim said. "I don't care what else happens, this has got to be the highlight of our trip. We experienced a real Mexican Stand-off!"
