Heavy is the head that wears the crown. -William Shakespeare, Henry IV
[This is a work of poker fiction set ten thousand hands in the future. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is coincidental.]
In the nineteenth century Horatio Alger's rags-to-riches books, From Farm to Fortune and Up the Ladder of Success, told of poverty stricken boys who became rich and successful through hard work and determination.
Las Vegas versions of Alger's stories included legendary casino entrepreneurs-Sam Boyd's Fremont, Benny Binion's Horseshoe, and Edwin O'Connor's Kingdom.
The Kingdom is designed in the architectural style critics call garish gargoyle gothic-five famous castles, Ireland's Blarney, Germany's Neuschwanstein, Spain's Alhambra, Japan's Himeji, and Russia's Kremlin-all jammed into one Strip casino.
One of the most prestigious events on the poker calendar is the $10,000 buy-in, winner-take-all, no-limit hold 'em King of Poker Tournament. One of the reasons was that, instead of gold-plated bracelets or faux-diamond rings, the king of poker was awarded a solid gold crown.
After the suicide bombing of the Crystal Casino's poker room there were rumors that the 2020 King of Poker Tournament might be cancelled. "Over my dead body," O'Connor told The Poker Newspaper. "If we don't play, then the poker terrorists win."
Here he might have stopped. But Edwin O'Connor was not one for keeping quiet. "And when I say poker terrorists I mean the members of the 'Committee to Savage Poker'-The Sinister Minister, Biggs Brother, The Senseless Senator, Phil Fist, and their middle-finger puppet, Judge Roy Bean, the so-called poker czar."
In response, Judge Bean granted absolute power over the game to the self-serving Committee to Save Poker, which issued the infamous Poker Order No. 1-Any poker player, professional or amateur, taking part in The King Of Poker Tournament, or any other tournament not specifically sanctioned by this office, will be now and forever banned from the game of poker.
Three threats backed up Poker Order No. 1.
The CEO of Hurrahs! Gaming (not to be confused with the poker-friendly folks at Harrah's Entertainment) confirmed that, as private property owners, any player defying Poker Order No. 1 would be barred for life from their casinos.
Senator Phil Fist then put enormous pressure on all other casinos to obey Poker Order No. 1 by threatening to subpoena their CEOs before his Un-American Games Committee to swear, under penalty of perjury, that they too would bar any non-complying players.
The Reverend Biggs Brother, not to be outdone, threatened to shun, shame, and publicly excommunicate any players who practiced hold 'em heresy by disobeying the God inspired poker czar.
Order No. 1 was reminiscent of Baseball Commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis' 1919 Black Sox banishment of Shoeless Joe Jackson and his teammates. Others thought it was more like Adolph Hitler's 1933 Berlin Olympic Games Diktat 18-Nicht Arier Olympische Athleten Verboten (Non-Aryan Olympic Athletes Forbidden). In a non-sports context, some thought of Franklin Roosevelt's 1942 Japanese-American Exclusion Order 9066.
Edwin O'Connor, believing the whole thing was silly, laughed at their threats. Poker players, who carefully calculated the risks to themselves, did not.
When the doors of the King of Poker Tournament swung open, only a handful of drunken poker players staggered in and bellied up to the cashier's window. The King of Poker had been dethroned.
(To be continued in the next issue of Poker Player)
