In my last article, Surviving Slumps--Part II, I said that we will discuss how to pump a slump into becoming a better player and person because of stress.
That's because, each slump can be a doorway to developing other playing skills. I have said for some years now that the true test of character is not how a player handles good times. Rather, the way that player manages bad times and bad cards are truer measures of that player's character. Let's look at alternatives to turning stress into distress. Success in anything is stress turned inside-out. That's right. Stress happens to everyone on the way up and each stress can be a rung in the ladder to the top. Here's the chart that I presented in the last article on how a person can turn stress into distress.
Escape from these distress responses is mainly to learn to be good to you. That means learning to GIVE yourself what you need at such times; to TAKE what you can from your arsenal of skills; to ASK yourself what it is that is going wrong; and, finally to say "No" to continuing to play the same way when conditions are so poor. Sometimes you will need to start pleasing yourself. At other times, you may need to loosen or tighten how you are playing. Self-talk is the cement that will pull together stress into success. Here's how that chart would look if you are turning stress into success:
These are just a few suggestions to taking stress and doing some serious examination of what you need. First of all, ask yourself if what is happening is in anyway something that you can control. If the answer is negative, stop beating on yourself and decide whether you need to be in another game or to wait for more favorable conditions. The only area that you can change is to look at yourself and ask what it is that you need to change. You will become powerless when you focus on changing others. You can succeed in changing yourself. I know, some of you are saying that part of poker is how you can influence others. What we are discussing here is not actions to influence how other players respond. Rather, attempting to change the stripes on a zebra will prove futile. A therapist friend of mine had a poster that read, "Don't try to teach a pig to sing! It will annoy you and aggravate the hell out of the pig."
Things that you can do to focus on things that you can change are to use stress or slumps as a chance to pay better attention to what is going on. If what is happening has to do with you, you can change it. If not, you can decide to take a break or be patient with what is going on. When you are distressed, it's a mistake to do what is impulsive. Stop and THINK. What is it that you need that whining is not likely to help? ASK yourself how you can GIVE yourself what you need-a break, a new table, a change in how you play, or just go home for the day? TAKE what's available to ease your pain. This might be some "poor babies" from your friends. You could be hungry and need to get something to eat or you may be sleep-deprived and need to take a nap. Finally, it's important to refuse to give your opponent what they want-usually more of your chips. Do you have a loss/win limit? If not, it's time. If you are inclined to do what pleases others, it's time to please yourself. If you prefer to blame others when things go wrong, it's time to practice more humility and examine your own contribution to the distress.
