Waiting, competing, and quitting are all things we do in poker. We do them in life too, as we go through the day. What's the difference? Very little, depending on what we are doing.
We will wait for a bus, or wait for a show to start; but will we wait for the snow to start? We will wait for a raise in salary, but will we wait for prices to go up?
While we wait for things we put off, like filing taxes, we seldom wait for bad luck. Or do we? However, we seem to be forever waiting for good luck. When competing in a poker game, we either will wait for quality cards or we will wait for any two cards to be dealt to us. Waiting is a part of life and in the "waiting game," it's really a part of playing poker-unless, we are loose and play anything we are dealt. Instead, there are players who relish in the challenge of playing bad cards and love to play the players. In that case, waiting for the right time to play means identifying weak players at the table and finding an opportunity to force them to fold or call-whatever your scheme is.
Suppose you've done all the waiting you plan to do. The next thing in life is acting or, in the case of poker, competing. The question is: Are you competing with good hands or garbage? For that matter, do you act with intelligence or act more on impulse? In poker, there are terms such as "loose players" and "tight players." A tight player is predictable in the way he or she competes-most of the time. Loose players are less predictable; however, they still compete-only with more gusto.
So what is your way of approaching life? Are you conservative or do you like to take more risks? Either way, you are competing-though you are using different rule books. Acting with knowledge of mathematics or not will determine how well you perform as a competitor.
There are a lot of messages around quitting. It's something you have to learn in poker as well as in life. Quitting, in poker, is admitting that you have at least a second-best hand. There's a taught lesson that goes, "Quitters never win and winners never quit." When applied to poker this lesson can be like committing suicide. Part of a good poker player's skill is a willingness to lay-down hands and avoid calls out of stubbornness. Although in the rest of life, persistence may be admirable, not knowing when to quit can cost a lot in the end. This lesson could be changed to, "Quitting is a way to cut loses and winners know when to quit." In the end, knowledge, experience, and skill, are required to be applied when quitting. Quitting out of fear alone is not enough.
The bottom line to waiting, competing, or quitting is the knowledge that comes from experience. Remember the words of the persistent Alexander Graham Bell, "When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us." Applied to poker, that means when you make a mistake like waiting too long, acting wrongfully, or quitting too soon, ask yourself, "What doors have just opened for me in this game?" Or, stop waiting. As Peter Marshall said, "Let us not be content to wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen." After all, we are playing poker!
Jim McKenna has been practicing psychotherapy for more than thirty-five years. His books include the acclaimed Beyond Tells: Power Poker Psychology, Beyond Bluffs: Master the Mysteries of Poker, and Beyond Traps: The Anatomy of Poker Success, all published by Kensington Press. Write to Jim@Jimmckenna-PhD.com.
