So he didn't call. Ouch! What a blow to the ego. Boom! Could it be he didn't like me? Could it be I wasn't attractive? Could it be my personality? Could it be I'm too fat? Could it be I'm "high maintenance?" Could it be I talked too much? Could it be because I beat him at poker, pool and air hockey? It just baffles me, why did he not call?
What if he lost your number? What if not everyone likes you? What if you are not as attractive as you think? What if it is, your personality? What if it is because of those ten extra pounds? What if it is because he thinks it might get expensive? What if it is because you are not a good listener? What if it is because you beat him at poker, pool and air hockey? You are "too much" sometimes.
Overanalyzing is my biggest flaw. Sometimes it just doesn't go as deep as I invent. I make "it" a bigger deal than it is. I give the situation more credit than it deserves. Sometimes I give people more credit than they deserve. I should give genius credit to geniuses and idiot credit to idiots. Is that fair? I don't know.
I've learned that in the world of Poker I should not "type cast" any player because that's exactly what he wants me to do. He wants me to think he's an idiot player because he wants to trick me out of all my cash.
I'm Overanalyzing again. I don't know, he didn't call and it's making me insecure. Insecurity, in my opinion is one of the most paralyzing emotions. Who cares? So he didn't call, I didn't like him that much anyway. Maybe, I should call him, no he's the "man" he should call me. Equal does not mean the same.
Overanalyzing while playing poker will drive you nuts. Should I have played it this way? Should I have played it that way? We need to assess and move on, just as in life. When we re-live life's bad episodes, we feel all the negative emotions, all over again. It was bad enough the first time. Let it go. Let's let it go together.
Summer is the season where your life's garden needs the most protecting. Protect your mind, your body, your spirit. Protect yourself from the outside. Protect yourself from your inside too. "And it's me who is my enemy, me who beats me up, me who makes the monsters, me who strips my confidence." What the poet said is true. Let's love ourselves more.
A man traveled many miles in search of the Great Buddha. When he found him, he insulted him and called him a phony. The man went on and on criticizing Buddha. Finally, when he finished Buddha said "Can I ask you a question?" The man angrily said "yes." Buddha then said "if someone gives you a gift and you do not accept it, who then does the gift, belong to?" The man condescendingly said "the one who gave the gift." Buddha then graciously said "so if I do not accept your insults and criticism, who then do they belong to?" The man walked away in shame.
Until next time, let's remember "nobody can kick us unless we're already lying on the floor."