Now Tell Me Something I Don't Know

Here's a little item I recently spotted in that bastion of hard news in America, USA Today:

PREDATORS PREFER DIMWITTED PREY Chimps and large predatory cats are more likely to target dimwitted prey less capable of escaping attack, a new study reports.

The researchers focused on predators from Africa and South America such as chimpanzees, jaguars, leopards and pumas.

To determine whether these hunters were biased towards certain types of prey, the scientists compared how often a prey species appeared in the wild with how often it turned up in the diets of the predators.

The results suggest prey with small brains relative to their body size, such as mongooses, the red river hog and certain small antelope, were hunted more often than prey with larger brains. Among all the prey species considered, primates, which have large brains compared to most other mammals, were targeted the least.

Yeah? May I just say: No sh*t, Sherlock. Any half-decent poker player can tell you that the law of the jungle -- survival of the fittest -- is the only law that matters in poker. And how do the fit survive? By preying on the weak! The small stack. The loose caller. The timorous titmouse who will fold to a reraise bluff. Success in poker is directly measured as a function of who has the best brain -- plus heart, courage and a whole lot of other Wizard of Ozian qualities -- and the best brains know to punish and pummel their dim bulb foes first.

This is where the whole concept of "dead money" comes from in tournament poker. It's a given that in any tournament field there's a fixed percentage of players who simply don't know what they're doing. For the rest of us (you, me, and that canny chimpin- a-chair over there), our job is simple: prey on that loose, dead money and scoop up as much of it as we can before the other smart predators beat us to it. Thus, while it's true that, "patience is precious when chips are cheap," it doesn't do to be too patient in a tournament's early stage. If you are, you'll find yourself treading water while other, tougher players are building big stacks.

Next thing you know, you're not predator, you're prey. Not good. Think about this next time you go into a tournament determined to "survive." Make sure you're not confusing survival with "lasting a long time," and make sure that your game plan includes at least a decent set of tactics for preying on the weak minds you find. Be prepared to steal blinds. Be prepared to reraise bluff. Be prepared to blow some smoke with your image, so that if the cards cooperate and bring you the right hand at the right time (a little thing we call situational luck) you'll be able to convince some dim bulb pumpkin to pay you off. In other words, give yourself a decent chance to win the tournament, and give yourself that shot from the start, even at the cost, sometimes, of an early exit from the field.

Also be aware of the dangerous cats around you. Know who's capable of bold, tricky moves, and who is not. It's easy to know this stuff, you know. Just watch your table's play for half an hour, and then try to categorize each player at your table as "tricky" or "straightforward." You won't, I promise, be too far wrong. Then attack the straightforward players, avoid the tricky ones, build your stack, and move ahead. It's simple, really. When you think about it, successful poker play, and successful tournament play, and even successful life in the wild, really just boils down to this:

Don't Challenge The Strong, Challenge The Weak.

That's What They're There For.