Beyond Skill

There's a trait that goes beyond good poker skills. This is usually a trait that is reserved for players who like themselves, other players, and the game itself. It can turn lemons into lemonade. When you have been around this trait, you are glad you were there-even if you were beaten by another's good will and sense of humor. It's the trait of being happy and being up-in good times and in bad. Not many poker players have it. Those that have this trait seem to be the consistent winners.

Have you ever seen a negative player who is constantly complaining and whining ever do consistently well in poker? It's a pretty rare sight. While they may get lucky occasionally, playing loose results in losing.

The same seems true of consistent winners. True, when you are doing well, it's easy to be positive and upbeat. Yet, notice a consistent winner. When they have a bad run, they are not complaining. They are instead busy staying upbeat and positive. They are dealing with bad times and staying in a good frame of mind.

This is one of the reasons that I wrote Beyond Traps: The Anatomy of Poker Success. It's coming out in June of 2007. What I say in that book is that, "Having the right attitude is probably the single most important power a person has to bring to the table. The best attitude to play with is a positive one. Attitude is like an odorless gas that can poison the room or infect others much like 'laughing gas.'"

This is true in most of what we do. I learned a long time ago that when I did therapy and didn't approach it as being my usual upbeat self, I would not do a good job. There's something about my being myself, which is more on the upbeat than the serious side that brings out the best in my therapy and in my poker. There's also something about being an upbeat poker player that can help your game. I was discussing this with a friend who plays a lot of high stake limit and no-limit games. He agreed that, "Having a positive mood is good for your cards!"

There's also something beyond just being good at what you do and knowing all the odds of when to play and when to lie hands down. There's having the self-control to deal with hard times and bringing an attitude to the table that other players are lacking. It's the ability to bring an attitude of gratitude- that's being grateful for being alive and still in the game. It's the ability to look on the brighter side of things.

There's the opposite attitude that will show up more often at low limit tables and in some very high staked games (where there's already a lot of money in the pot from large blinds and antes). In these games, there are those with a "hold'em attitude" who play their positions with good combinations of high cards and connectors. Then there are the "no-fold'em hold'em" players who will play any two cards until the flop-regardless of position. It's the difference between playing "hold'em" and what I call "flop'em."

That said, let's get back to how attitude helps or hurts your cards. Attitude will turn a seasoned and skillful player into a pompous child sulking because someone broke the "secret bargain" and stayed long enough to beat them. Attitude is not something players are born with. Besides being learned, attitudes can be changed. That's the good news. By changing attitudes, players will enjoy others, the game, and even themselves more.

In short, players with bad attitudes are much easier to beat than players with good ones are.