Barney Underwood is not an ordinary railbird-he's a tell catcher. He detects tells and passes them on to other players for a percentage of their win.
"Look, Barney," the Player with the white cowboy hat and the gold pinky ring said, "tournament play isn't what it used to be. Waves of Internet kids are falling over themselves entering live tournaments with pockets full of money. They bet aggressively from the get-go. If they get lucky, you're on the rail before you know it. I can handle the regulars in the high-stakes cash games at the Bellagio. We all know and respect one another. Winning there is a matter of skill and a little bit of luck."
"But it offers little recognition and TV face time outside of the room," Barney said.
A sly smile crossed the Player's face. "Well, there's that too. And I haven't won a bracelet in a couple of years. I'm hungry for another one."
"So what do you want from me?" Barney asked.
"I'm going to enter one of the $1,500 no limit hold 'em events in the WSOP. It figures to have a nice payout and the field will be a hell of a lot smaller than the main event. Besides, they won't play the final table until sometime in November. Who can wait that long? So what I'd like for you to do is tell catch for me."
Barney shook his head, "Gee, I don't know. My daughter is coming into town and I figured to spend some time with her."
"Ah, come on, Barney-for old time's sake. I'll even throw in an extra five percent of my cash-out."
"Well," Barney said, scratching his chin. "I suppose my daughter can take care of herself during the tournament." After hesitating for a moment, he shook the player's outstretched hand and said, "Ok. It's a deal!"
It was day two and the tournament was rapidly winding down to a close. Of the 800-plus players, only seventeen others remained with the chip leader. During a break the Player took Barney to one side. "You've given me some good tells, tonight, Barney."
"It always pays to have a second set of eyes at the table."
The Player nodded, "Got anything on the kid in the seven seat?"
"He's getting tired and places a chip on his hole cards before the bet comes to him if he intends to call or raise. Slow play him if you get the chance."
"How about that cute girl in the second seat? Anything on her?"
"Nothing to talk about. She plays a tight game and gives nothing away."
The Player frowned. "Yeah, and she knows how to bet too. She triple-bet the kid on that last hand and he mucked. Figured she bluffed him out-scooped a nice pot. Not too many gals would make that kind of a move."
"Must have a good teacher," Barney said.
"Too good if you ask me." Giving the girl a closer look he said, "You know, she reminds me of someone."
"Just play attention to the cards and not the girl," Barney cautioned.
Two hours later the third player at the table busted-out and it was heads-up at the final table between the Player and the girl. A break was called to bring in the prize money and the gold bracelet.
"Well," the Player said to Barney, "One down and one to go for the bracelet. Just need to get past
that girl. Just look at her. Two days of high-pressure poker and she still looks as fresh as she was yesterday before the first deal. "She's young," Barney said.
"Yeah, young. Like we were once. Remember when we used to put in 20-30 hours at the tables downtown? Then we would hit the clubs for a few more hours. And the only ladies in the room were cocktail waitresses and working girls. Those were better times, my friend."
"Not better-just different times."
"Suppose so," the Player agreed. "More games. Bigger pots. More fish at the tables these days. And who ever would believe a nine million first place payout for the winner of the main WSOP event? Hell, you could have brought your own casino with that kind of money. Well, time to get back to the table."
Word had spread that it was heads-up at a final table and a crowd had gathered to watch the Player and the girl battle it out for the gold bracelet. It was a sea-saw battle for an hour until the Player went all-in and won the tournament in with a set of jacks to the girl's kings-up.
After the winner's presentation, the Player handed Barney his share of the win with his new gold bracelet wrapped around his left wrist. "Here you go, my friend, your fee plus 5 percent as promised."
As Barney took the money, the girl from the table moved next to him and slid one of her arms through his. "Well, Daddy-we came close," she said.
The Player took a step back and gave both of them a hard look. "By God now I know why she looks so familiar. She's your daughter!" Barney nodded and the girl smiled.
"No wonder she almost got the best of me. You were tell catching for her too!"
"No he wasn't," the girl said. "I was picking up your tells on my own. And as for him passing my tells on to you-what self respecting father would tell on his own daughter?"
Write to author Leo Cummins at 31 Tiber Lane, Hilton Head Island, SC 29926
