Dear Ace, I'm sick and tired of my fiancé's obsession with gambling. He's had weekly poker nights every Thursday for years now, and he's always trying to plan our vacations for casinos when I'd rather he take me somewhere romantic. How can I get him to be the man I want him to be?-Wistful in West Hills
Dear Wistful in West Hills, I can only assume that your future husband's gambling is his worst vice, since that's what you've chosen to despair about. Did you know that Haiti just suffered a devastating loss and that millions of children are still starving in China? (It's amazing how your mother's advice comes in handy if you wait long enough.)
While it may seem like a good sign that you enjoy spending every waking moment with your fiancé, this might be a good time to accept the terms of your relationship and how much time together is enough. Perhaps he is just that good of a lover and companion that you can't otherwise entertain yourself for a few hours once a week while he pursues a hobby. Fair enough. Still, I suggest you choose your battles wisely.
Whether you agree with this statement now or not, I assure you it's of vital importance for couples to have time apart to breathe. I'd bet on the fact that someday you'll even feel thankful for your weekly night off. In the meantime: Take a class. Get a friend. Read the Twilight Series if you have to-but move on.
A week or two away at some fanciful destination can also be a great way to help to cultivate a healthy relationship, and you're right, sitting in a smoky card room with your honey probably won't feel like effective use of your vacation days. Still, you might be surprised at how you can work your fiancé's obsession to your advantage. This is a great opportunity for the two of you to learn the art of compromise.
Many gambling destinations feature particularly romantic amenities. Here are a few that come to mind. Try the gondola rides at the Venetian, a romantic trip to the Paris Hotel's Eiffel Tower or dinner at their little Bistro- Mon Ami Gabi. A great benefit you and Mr. Right can get out of Vegas as a starting-out couple is that you can experience some of the amenities of typical "dream getaways" without the price of traveling internationally. This way you still get to resemble the perfect woman: the perfect fiancé, who is so thoughtful when planning vacations that she allows for her love's interests. Everyone wins in this game. But don't go all-in on my advice...
WHAT WOULD JOKER DO?
Okay, so here it is-your chance to have the trip of a lifetime. A honeymoon is a once in a lifetime experience. Three times tops. So you have a fiancé who likes to gamble? Ace is on to something. Take a gamble. Pick the destination of your choice and have your fiancé choose his. Now spin the roulette wheel and see whose destination wins. And a bonus-here's your first introduction to marriage-one of you wins, the other pretends to be happy about it and learns the meaning of the phrase, "Yes, dear."
Ace is a 27 year old pokerbrat with a knack for the written word and a self-proclaimed ability to tell it like it is. If necessary she is also willing to provide character references from several Facebook friends. She credits at least half of her savoir-faire to her father, a well-known aficionado of all things gambling.
Joker is a long-time friend of Ace. You may not ask for advice from Joker directly, but whether you admit it or not, most people have, at one time or another, wondered W.W.J.D?
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